About Therapy
Meet a “client” and hear what it was like to go to therapy…
“I felt overwhelmed and hopeless.”
The negative self-talk was keeping me from even thinking that things could change – that this brain could stop hijacking me and making me suffer. Yet, I knew that there must be a way out of this cycle of panic, worry, and anxiety!
Even though I wasn’t totally sure, I decided to make the appointment for the free consultation…
… because doing nothing was not an option. Boy, am I glad I did that!
The free consultation was so helpful.
And I realized that what I was experiencing was not necessarily a hopeless situation. Angi said it’s even fairly common to a lot of people.
She really understood what I was saying, and I could tell she didn’t judge me for some of the things I think or do.
It didn’t feel like the other types of therapy and treatments I had tried before.
I remember being so anxious…
… because I was late to the first appointment. It was almost as if my brain knew that things were going to change, and it was going to have to give up being in charge.
Yet I pushed through, and it felt good… even though it also felt bad.
I knew that I was doing something for myself, for my real future, not the scary future of my thoughts.
I liked that Angi explained that the treatment is difficult.
But she assured me that we will always go at my pace and that she will never push me to do something I am uncomfortable with. Plus, she has had lots of success helping others overcome their fears and learn to live with the uncertainty that life brings without freaking out about everything.
I was so excited to really start… yet also terrified, because I knew the things that I would likely have to face. But Angi said that we usually start with the easy stuff.
The therapist was truthful and warned me that when starting this treatment, often the thoughts will get worse, more intense, and more frequent – as if they know that their days are numbered, so they were going to try to beat me back into submission.
I used the tricks and tools that Angi taught me…
… plus, her optimism, hope, and experience to help me push through and continue doing the little things that I had decided to start with. I wasn’t sure that I would ever be ready for the big stuff, but I guess I figured I would cross that bridge when I was ready. I believed her when she affirmed that I was in control of this therapeutic journey.
After a few months into treatment, I can say that my brain was getting better. I certainly had a greater understanding of what my condition is and how it doesn’t have to define me or my existence. I actually started to have hope that I could conquer these thoughts without the “help” of any of my time-consuming and annoying rituals. Amazing!
The more I practiced the work we did together in session and at home, the weaker the fears became.
By the time I got to the end of therapy…
I was really confident in my ability to handle my brain, my anxiety, and the uncertainty of life.
I had come to therapy hoping for a little relief. But now I find that my OCD is so much quieter. It only occasionally pesters me. And when it does, I know what to do.
I still have my ups and downs, disappointments and joys, but I am able to smile knowing that it is my life; and I am building it as I see fit without needing to accommodate any of the thoughts or rituals.
About Me
Angi also went to therapy. Here is her story…
Somehow, I was too broken.
Because I had tried therapy earlier in life and found that it did nothing for me.
To be fair, I didn’t give it much of a chance, but I was more hooked into the negative self-talk that told me most things were my fault and/or my responsibility. But after I was suddenly widowed, I had no real choice. I needed help to sort out the fall-out, and so I tried again.
When I entered therapy more than a decade ago…
I went into it with the conviction that it doesn’t work, at least not for me. But I could no longer avoid all the things that were painful or hard, I had to lean into them and go through them.
Through avoidance, I was searching for outside validation, a way to feel okay, that longing to know that I am enough and “just right.” Through working with my therapist, I learned that I am “good enough” (there is no such thing as a perfect person), and I validated myself, which is the most powerful form of validation.
After my hours on the couch, I was restored.
My life was not any less difficult, but I somehow knew that it was okay. I knew that I could and would take care of it.
I didn’t need to be perfect. All I needed to do was just keep trying and moving forward to build the life that I wanted.
I had figured out many difficult things already; and I knew that whatever comes, I would work to solve it, no matter how hard.
I’ve done many hard things in life…
For 20 years, I raised a family in Russia, Kazakhstan, and Germany. This brought times of food insecurity and the uncomfortableness of living in another language and culture. Trying to get simple things done can take all day and leave you totally exhausted. We experienced burglary and other difficulties, but I would do it all again!
More recently, I had the chance with work to go to Northern Iraq just a few years ago.
I went to serve in the refugee camps and while there had a scary thing happen. I chose to stay behind the group. While alone at the guest flat, there was a loud rally outside in the courtyard of men with machine guns. I found out later it was a planned political rally and nothing to be concerned about.
Another hard experience happened while we were living in Kazakhstan. My children’s school hired me to be the crisis manager, and I had to go to a conference to be trained. During the conference, we had a live simulation of being taken hostage where we were zip-tied and bagged with a black bag over our heads and removed from the group one by one (for mock interrogation). Even in a simulation, the adrenaline can really go…
That said, therapy was absolutely the hardest thing I’ve done.
Somehow, facing the fears that are inside is way more intimidating. Somehow, really looking at ourselves and potentially finding out that we are not what we hope we are can feel much more threatening to our existence.
I heard a quote somewhere from someone in therapy, “I know it’s hell (meaning the world we create for ourselves inside), but at least I know all the streets!” It can seem “safer” to stay in our world, with all the coping mechanisms, but making it through to the outside is possible and so, so worth it!
I know that the work of therapy is hard, and I respect that. But I also know that it can be successful, too. That’s why I chose to become a therapist and why I love working with clients suffering with OCD.
When I am not working with my awesome clients…
You may find me on the tennis court or painting… or, quite frankly, watching TV.
On the weekends, I am likely with my children, grandchildren, or my mother. We enjoy playing games together. And even though my mom beats me most of the time, we still enjoy it!
Are you ready to start on your journey to freedom from fear?
Call me at (970) 541-2862 to discuss how the treatment I provide that could aid you on your path to wholeness and peace.
I offer a 30-minute free consultation. We can talk about OCD and anxiety and how exposure therapy can benefit in calming and overcoming these sometimes-debilitating conditions.
Start today on your personal quest to growth and well-being!